I've spent the greater part of my life worrying about things that are beyond my control. Perhaps, the greatest insights I have gleaned from my short time on this earth is that there is very little that we absolutely have control over, failure is a part of growth and that love and kindness are truly the things that matter the most. Bearing witness to this extraordinary time in our history, I have felt a mixture of anxiety, excitement, fear, dread, hope, and irony. Despite my concern over the tactical aspects of being: will I continue to have a job, can I pay my bills, will I be able to afford to drive my car, what about retirement, is this a run-on sentence; I am finding that there is something rather freeing about this chaotic and uncertain time. Maybe it is just realizing that we don't really have control over anything, that the future really is uncertain, and that, above and beyond it all, the only thing we can really do is decide how we are going to live in the midst of it all. I have decided that I am not ever going to stand on the sidelines while my life passes me by. I have decided that I am always going to be optimistic about the future. I have decided that I am going to seek out creative partnerships and opportunities that feed my soul. It's that simple. It's my line in the sand.
4 comments:
First of all, I love your new blog look. And secondly - I echo your optimism. Guilt is how I manage to bypass the terrifying truth that I really don't have control over much of anything. When I get tired of feeling guilty, then I can really let go and be free. It's fleeting, but I'm working on it.
I figure that if I jump out of bed in the morning with happy expectation, then I'm doin' it right. That's hope's definition.
I don't do much of anything now days that doesn't make me sing.
I wouldn't venture to do anything that makes me sing because I would probably be arrested or shot, but I totally hear you and I think we all have to make conscious choices to be optimistic and believe the best in each other and about what the future holds.
Freedom and letting go is not easy to hold onto...it is as illusive as creativity sometimes...but the point (I guess) is to try to get there as much as possible and leave a little trail of crumbs so that you can remember how you got there in the first place.
things have gotten so bad up here that i find myself working even harder, doing all of the things i love. i don't know where i'm going or what i'm doing or what's coming next or which way to go. if my ship's going down, i'm going to work all the way. the best thing i can say about my life is that i have no regrets and there's nothing i wish i would have done or tried that i didn't do or try.
it's so stressful and horrible that it's freeing. if that makes sense.
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