John Keats

This is from John Keats' Endymion...and I thought it rather beautiful.

Weekend Fun...?

Tonight, I am attending a bachelorette party. Honestly, I cannot imagine a more hellish sequence of events than the following:
1. Dinner with 10-12 girls ranging in ages from 23-27 (obviously this excludes Montana and myself) who I don't know.
2. Attendance of a local strip club where I've been warned that the MALE strippers may try to "tea bag" me....every gay woman's dream, I tell you.
3. Dancing at a local club where I am told to dress like I am looking to "get laid"....by a man. This means cowboy shirts, NIKE flip-flop and cargo pants are out of the question.

A normal Saturday night for me usually consists of a nice bottle of wine, dinner at home or somewhere less than 5 miles away, some quality time with Nancy Grace and bedtime at 10pm. I think I'll start drinking now.

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I've had a bit of a creative resurgence. I did this last night...shaking off the cobwebs and getting back into the flow is not for the faint of heart.

Better than most of my recent posts...

I've spent the greater part of my life worrying about things that are beyond my control. Perhaps, the greatest insights I have gleaned from my short time on this earth is that there is very little that we absolutely have control over, failure is a part of growth and that love and kindness are truly the things that matter the most. Bearing witness to this extraordinary time in our history, I have felt a mixture of anxiety, excitement, fear, dread, hope, and irony. Despite my concern over the tactical aspects of being: will I continue to have a job, can I pay my bills, will I be able to afford to drive my car, what about retirement, is this a run-on sentence; I am finding that there is something rather freeing about this chaotic and uncertain time. Maybe it is just realizing that we don't really have control over anything, that the future really is uncertain, and that, above and beyond it all, the only thing we can really do is decide how we are going to live in the midst of it all. I have decided that I am not ever going to stand on the sidelines while my life passes me by. I have decided that I am always going to be optimistic about the future. I have decided that I am going to seek out creative partnerships and opportunities that feed my soul. It's that simple. It's my line in the sand.

in case you missed it.

Regardless of your political beliefs...simply brilliant.

insomnia.

What is it about insomnia that makes me want to buy this?

out of the flow.

Why is it that inspiration is so illusive? I have been in a creative dry spell for several months now and it is sheer frustration. Today, I come off of a week-long beach vacation and have an entire day to myself to work on some paintings...sounds great, right? Not so much....nothing is coming. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zlich.

I, of course, think I am losing it. I no longer have access to that part of myself that is able to freely create and express whatever is in my head or heart. "IT" is gone. But what is it? And I have to believe that "IT" is not gone, but just not accessible to me right now. But why? Theoretically, I am relaxed. My stress is moderate, but not high. Life is generally pretty great. So what gives? I know that when I "try" to be creative, I fail miserably....I am pushing when should be pulling, going north when I need to go south....all of those things. Maybe it is simply a relaxation thing. Maybe I am judging myself too harshly and not allowing the process to be fluid. Maybe anxiety is blocking me. The question, of course, is how to get unstuck, relax and get back into the flow.

Any suggestions?