The mind is a terrible thing to waste. Unfortunately, it seems that I cannot turn mine off. In this unrelenting search for truth, the highest level of being and otherwise unattainable scenarios, I have discovered that most people have NO FUCKING IDEA what I am talking about...this leads me to question whether or not I am communicating poorly or if my audience is simply not getting it. Then it occured to me today, over a glass of cheap red wine and a delightful cheese plate, maybe no one really cares...WHAT???? I cannot believe this is true. I cannot believe that one would forfeit a conversation about the meaning of life, design, art, humanity, religion, and ultimate truth for something far less substantive. I like to bait people for these kinds of interactions. If I am met with reactions like "exactly!..." followed with NOTHING...you're not thinking. You are not really engaged. You are JUST AGREEING and it is quite possible, you are not even listening. HOW BORING. I am already wanting to cry myself to sleep and we haven't even had dessert. I simply want to be engaged on some level...to talk about things that matter...that are interesting. I want to dip deep into the well of who YOU (anyone, that is) are and find something curious, odd, interesting. I love life...in every form. I am curious about everything and I will always wonder why others (seemingly) are not as curious as I am.
1 comment:
I can't describe that needing to know and to wonder about the deeper truth of things, either. So far, I've tried to staw away from those who do not, becuase my time is too precious to be wasted on polite and dull conversation. I remember dating a guy who told me he thought this world was too awful to bring another child into its clutches. And I thought, WOW, this one's got no hope left in him. I feel the same way about those who do not have a deeper opinion. Ambivalence is convenient because there's no work involved. Eventually, these people can become toxic around you. I just steer clear of anyone without hope. Hope is the energy to ask the deeper questions in the first place. I also remember being the only person in the 7th grade to ask the ulitmate question of why exactly we were here in the first place. I used to wonder so hard about it, that I'd get really depressed. My best friend at the time thought I was crazy. Her anser was "who cares". I steered clear of her from then on and watched her get married right out of highschool and have three greedy kids afterwards. Now she's fat. Bitch. He he.
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