Monday, January 30, 2006

The Adventures of Super Mary.

So I had a very interesting experience the other night...worthy of sharing with the general public. Earlier in the day as my neighbor Diana and I were walking our dogs, a man was out distributing "Lost Cat" seems as though he had lost his adorable tabby cat, Sushi. So later that evening, we were, once again, walking the hounds and out of the corner of my eye I saw what appeared to be a cat hiding in the bushes. Of course, as soon as I realized this, Fox, my crazy terrier, went ballistic barking and doing this Mariah Carey-like whiney howl that he does when he is alerted to an intruder animal in his territory. No doubt, this alarmed the animal I had seen and it scurried off into the bushes. At this point, Diana and I had convinced ourselves that, indeed, we had seen Sushi and that it was our duty as responsible and compassionate pet owners to retrieve this beautiful feline for our fellow neighbor. I handed Diana my two beasts and fearlessly headed off into the bushes to save Sushi. I could see two glowing orbs behind the bush I was negotiating myself around in the complete darkness and so I started to coax little "Sushi" out of the brush. "Here kitty kitty....Here kitty kitty..." Well, I was about 5 feet from the scared little creature and he leapt up onto a neighboring tree. This was my chance, I though, as I confidently strode over to the trunk of the tree with my arms outstretched and hands ready to snatch sweet Sushi and bring him back home. It was only when I was about 1 foot from this animal that I realized I was about to grab onto a Possum. It was at this point that I screamed like a little girl and bolted from the backyard I was now trespassing in an attempt to kidnap a Possum. I'm sure it was entertaining to anyone who happened to catch any of my Oscar-winning performance. Oh, just so you know...the picture of the possum up there is NOTHING like what I saw the other night...the possum I saw had bright red eyes, fangs dripping with rabies, saliva and blood, and talons that were designed to eviscerate innocent young children while they are sleeping peacefully in their beds. It's a scary world out careful.

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