Saturday, December 09, 2006

Holidaze.


I have never been particularly good at letting go. Historically, I have been relatively rotten at it...life has a tendency to soften our edges and we find that we grow in ways we never thought possible when we are open to the lessons and open to the changes. For me, that has meant a struggle to be open to the absences, open to the losses that we incur along the way. To feel a void is always the most difficult because there is often an impulse to want to fill it...to make it whole again...and, sometimes, we simply have to be in the presence of absence. We have to sit in it, absorb it, allow ourselves to heal. I have learned the hard way that avoidance of this process only creates a stockpile of unresolved pain and emotion. There is no particular reason that I write this blog today...other than the fact that the holidays always remind me of who is in my life that is important. Perhaps, this year, I realize that sometimes the most important people to us are no longer a part of our day to day life. Feeling that void and also, understanding that we get to keep the gift of their love, their beauty, the mark they make on our heart...well, it makes things seem a little sweeter.

7 comments:

minus five said...

if people aren't part of my day-to-day routine anymore, i don't feel any love for them. i spend my time counting how many different ways i hate their guts.

MCALDWELLC said...

...and that is, perhaps, another way of dealing with things...I'll look into that approach.

mel said...

philosophically speaking ...
do the people have to physically be in the same area to be part of the day to day? or just in memory, a priori knowledge?

branding wise, if the person is totally non-existent, and you still feel for that person, that is the strength of their brand. sorry, i just had to throw marketing in the mix.

minus five said...

people don't have to be in the same physical space. you just have to still like them.

mel said...

minu5ive: I agree

btw, thank you to you both, and Debbie's blog, for inspiring me to blog. I don't know how effective I will be ... but here is me first attempt: http://brand-em.blogspot.com/

hell, I can't be any worse than Mary ; )

mel said...

minu5ive: I agree

btw, thank you to you both, and Debbie's blog, for inspiring me to blog. I don't know how effective I will be ... but here is me first attempt: http://brand-em.blogspot.com/

hell, I can't be any worse than Mary ; )l, I can't be any worse than Mary ; )

Anonymous said...

I know it's a bit late to comment on this blog entry, but I tend to be quite random.

Oh, before I ramble on and on, I found your blog while looking for http:www.mcccreations.com with no success. I've read random entries, and without warning I found myself mesmerized by the art you create from your words. Writing is a talent not many people have.

Now, for my comment. (For some reason it feels like suspenseful music should be playing in the background... but it's nothing that profound). I can relate to every word, give or take a few, of this entry. I am working on allowing myself to heal despite a pervasive sense of emptiness I feel. I've recently experienced numerous changes (which are considered losses) in my life. I guess reading this entry has alleviated some of my pain and emotion, helping me cope as opposed to sinking into some form of a crisis.
I've been holding on to letting go of some people who have come and gone in my life. You wrote I realize that sometimes the most important people to us are no longer a part of our day to day life. Feeling that void and also, understanding that we get to keep the gift of their love, their beauty, the mark they make on our heart...well, it makes things seem a little sweeter. Something about that comforts me as my grip on the past loosens a bit.