World's Shortest Fairytale
(sent to me by a fabulous friend.)
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" . . .and, the girl lived happily ever! And afterwards, she went shopping, dancing, took cruises, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex when and with whomever she pleased... did whatever the heck she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled at will, had many friends, both men and women, didn't save money and, had all the hot water to herself. Further, she went to the theatre, never had to watch football, never wore absurd lacy lingerie that crept up her butt, possessed good self esteem, never cried or swore and, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants.
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3 comments:
this all describes me perfectly, except:
1. nobody has been crazy enough to ask me to marry them.
1.a. i haven't wanted to marry anybody.
2. i don't dance.
3. i have no desire to go on a cruise.
4. the last time i drank martinis, i puked in the hallway of my apartment and my roommate had to clean it up.
5. i don't have a house.
5.a. my apartment isn't even clean.
6. i always argue. i live for it.
7. i can't get fat walking in ny even if i wanted to.
8. i love football and worry i would love it more than any man i could find.
9. sometimes i use cusswords.
10. i don't look fabulous in sweat pants or any "around the house" attire, but i wear it all the time anyway.
does that mean i'm the epitome of fairytaleness?
I think this may be a big gay fairytale since we are not allowed to marry...but it really sounds like a gay man's fairytale...not to be stereotypical but c'mon...the martinis, shopping, free sex, clean houses, theatre, not having to watch football??? That is most gay men I know...and myself....hmmm, maybe I'm a gay man...I don't know...I do like all of those things...and I wear sassy shoes...
The tale left out 'Never had children.'
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