Sunday, July 16, 2006

Restless in the ATL.

There is nothing worse than not being able to sleep. Today I woke up at 2:30 am and did not fall back asleep until 7am.

Yes, folks, that is a 4.5 hour hiatus in my visit to sleepy's house.

I tried everything. I journaled, I read blogs...a lot of blogs, I scoured the internet for random information, I even attempted to paint. N O T H I N G was working. I actually considered going for a walk at 4am until that voice of reason chimed in and reminded me that a woman walking around midtown among the drug dealers and hookers well after midnight might not be such a bright idea.

Then it occurred to me that, perhaps, this was an opportunity to just be. In light of the fact that I have recently realized that being present in the moment...THIS moment, THIS day, THIS second is the goal, I think that was life testing me. So I stopped...finally...and allowed myself to be conscious of exactly where I was and what I was feeling. Then and only then did I resume sleep.

How well I did on my life test, I give myself a "C" for "last night's" performance.


Anne-Davnes said...

They say that's also how to deal with physical pain.
Breathe through it instead of fighting it. It's supposed to take you someplace else, rather than to a battleground.


I think that is true for pain of any kind. Acceptance propels you to another level of understanding and integration. But shit, it aint easy.