Monday, September 11, 2006

Conversation with the Atlanta Police.

The other night, Audrey discovered her window was "busted out"...another miracle on 4ths street....and I, having gotten back into my Law and Order groove, decided to investigate. If you go to Audrey's Blog you can see the damage to her car...clearly, this was a different kind of break in. When the helpful policeman arrived at the scene 2 HOURS LATER, this was our conversation...

(helpful policeman is looking over the car)

MC: so, I think the thing that concerns us is that there appears to be a bullet hole in the rear-view mirror.

(helpful policeman continues to peruse the backseat, examining the shattered remains of Aud's window)

HP: did you find any rocks in the back seat?

MC: rocks? No, but we did find what appears to be a BULLET HOLE in the rear view mirror

(helpful policeman continues to work his way through the entire backseat and floor of aud's car.)

HP: hmmm

(I am starting to get annoyed...thinking I may get really sarcastic in about 5 I walk around to the front of the car, open the passenger side door, and POINT to the rear-view mirror...perhaps, our helpful public servant is unfamiliar with what the rear view mirror actually is)

MC: THIS (pointing at the hole) is what I'm referring to.

HP: hmmm. That does look like it could be a bullet hole.

(jesusmotherfuckingchrist...that's because IT IS A BULLET HOLE)

So, after, we finally convince the policeman that, indeed, Audrey's car has been shot and that this damage was not caused by a rock-hurling street person, we have the following conversation.

MC: so, this is the 3rd car to have a window busted out/shot-up in the past 2 weeks. I would say this constitutes somewhat of a pattern. do you have any idea who could be doing this?

HP: probably the homeless people on the street

MC: homeless people? (please note a hint of sarcasm)

HP: yes, homeless people.

MC: what would the motivation be for a homeless person to randomly break a person's window?

HP: I don't know, they are on crack.

MC: oh, okay. all homeless people are on crack. I didn't know that.

(helpful policeman goes to his car to write something down)

HP: no, all homeless people are not on crack but they break into cars to steal cds, loose change, anything they can use on the street for cash

MC: I understand that. What is confounding in this particular situation is that nothing has been stole from these cars. Plus, there is a bullet hole in aud's window. (one more time, folks, just for emphasis) a BULLET HOLE.

HP: I don't know...could be a career criminal...looking for stereos, DVD players...

MC: yeah, but NOTHING was taken from these cars...and then there is the BULLET HOLE.

HP: I don't safe ladies and have a good night.

MC: hrrmpf.


Tania Rochelle said...

Perhaps it was the same officer who came to my home when I called about being flashed while jogging. No matter that I had the license plate and an accurate description of the car. "We'll never find him," he said.

He meant, We'll never look.

Anne-Davnes said...

Oh, that is ridiculous! Sounds as frustrating as the conversations I have with the doctors here.

And generally, homeless people are more docile than destructive. I think this sounds like sensless anger - sounds like teens to me.

Cassie said...

Wow, good ol' APD. Geez...