Friday, February 24, 2006

I Quit.


Today I did something I have never done before in my life...I boldly walked into my very new place of employment and quit. HA! I had a good long talk with myself after an interesting evening with a new friend and a most excellent run in beautiful weather and realized that I was willing to commit close to 1300 hours of my life to something that, not only was I not passionate about, but I really hated: restaurant work. Yes, the money would have been great and it would have required very little of my mind, but I had to ask myself another question: why was I not willing to reinvest that time in myself, my passion, my work? I had no good reason other than that I might be a little afraid I would fail. Then, I had to ask myself yet another question: WHAT THE FUCK AM I ALIVE FOR IF I AM NOT WILLING TO RISK FAILURE? Great success only comes from the willingness to take great risks and risk great failure. I realized that I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO live everything that I believe; otherwise, I am a hypocrite...I am not willing to put my money where my mouth is. So today, I guess I really decided to commit 110% of myself to my work, myself and Portfolio Center. Something has shifted in my life in the past few months...everything has really begun to come together...in some weird, universe sort of way. I really got it today that I had to let go of all of the fear that I had about failure and start living boldly, fearlessly and with the sense of purpose and passion that inspires me to do what I am doing. And for god's sake, when I make up my mind to do something, I DO IT. It may take me a while to get there, but once I am there, it's a done deal. So, tomorrow, I show up at 7am for Hank's class with a fresh attitude and I a renewed sense of determination and passion and I am totally excited about it! Yeah for me!

4 comments:

aud said...

you go girl. I'm happy for you. now its time to celebrate and totally forget about our work!!! :)

Anne-Davnes said...

mary?

Um. Are you on drugs?

;)

MCALDWELLC said...

I like to think of it as the result of a dynamic blend of sleep deprivation, too much Starbucks and marathon Hank Richardson classes.

Hmmm....drugs are starting to sound like a sound alternative.

Do they make Prozac, Xanax and Ritalin in IV form?????

Jason said...

that is a direct effect of Hank's class, all of it. Same thing happened to me last quarter, except that I did not quit my job, still haven't, only because it pays for my car and my insurance....with a baby coming in 2 months, that kind of stuff grounds me. BUT, the idea of things coming together, in life and in design, challenging everything you do, everything you see, and everything you believe, really puts you in your place. I did almost get fired last week for bad attendance; bad attendance caused only by putting school first. Just imagine what will happen when I put family first! Good luck with everything.